Not having my BigMac (what I call my MacBook pro) for the 2nd day now has made apparent how much I still need a laptop, or prefer using one to do certain things instead of on the phone. As smooth as web browsing on the iPhone can be, the small screen is a pain. Typing is a pain. Not having multiple tabs accessible w a single click is a pain.
The possibility of having to fork out a huge amount of cash for potential repair needs, or in worst case scenario, a replacement, makes me sick inside out. It then leads me to thinking of things like im not earning enough from my design job(s) to justify a Mac. Ive not even earned enough to have afforded the BigMac! N then thinking about always paying for the unforeseen circumstances, the urgent needs, n then having nothing left for the wants. Case in point would be The Guitar that I've been postponing since high school. Which then leads me to thinking if I even need one, n that so far, the earnings r pretty much negligible, n it's an investment that won't pay off.
Sometimes I'm just so grateful that at least this year, I had an income. A monthly income. A steady monthly income. N no longer having the stress of a "here's what u hv, make it last as long as possible" account. No longer having to choose between feeding the car or myself. Having the option of having social meals knowing I can afford it. And I'm at least spending my own money.
But in a family business you sometimes feel like your money isn't entirely your own.. And sometimes I still get fed up that money, while it doesn't bring happiness, does make life easier.
And this is what having too much quiet results in. A quietness caused by deafening thoughts.
