ArmPIIT.

(so brief, it's a thong)

i recognised their weariness.

life will work itself out soon. fingers crossed.

i finally overcame the trauma of the necessity to continuously conjure ideas that are slightly off centre, have more than superficial meaning, cater to anyone but myself, one after another after another.

i wonder if there is a giant pool of ideas floating in space, and each time we try to come up with one, we are merely pulling a floating idea out of its place in space, returning it to its personal slot if it's been used before, repeating the steps until we find one that has yet to be fingerprinted by someone else.

and i wonder if the pool (if the giant pool of ideas floating in space exists) is one where its occupancy has been determined, or is an ever expanding one, or one with a nett flow of incoming and outgoing ideas.

and i wonder if these ideas we dream of have been predreamt into existence, before we dream of them.

following the Christian theological train of thought, i suppose if all things have been created by God, then all dreams have been dreamt by Him before He either: a) nudges these dreams into specific heads or b) directs them to the pool of ideas or c) something i can't comprehend.

so i finally overcame the trauma. i found solace in transferring what my eye sees in 3D to black line drawings. been drawing fashion items from stylearena and style.com.

which is all good but tonight i am reminded to not allow myself to stagnate in the comfort of imitating.

create.

i hate it that when i'm angry at you, all it takes is for you to pull me close to you, and the anger melts away.

and it's so unfair, because i try to pull away so i can stay angry for just a while more, but you use your size to hold me back.

and i can't help but love you.

the BAD
from the moment we sat down, we couldn't help but bitch about the crappy service. We want to discuss what to eat also cannot. The manager (not sure la. but she wasnt a waiter. maybe manager in training) came to interrupt on THREE separate occasions to give ONE different menu and TWO non-related thingies to read. cannot give all at once meh??? (of cuz i was nice and joked 'anything else ar?' cuz i didn't anticipate the downhill slope we were about to experience)

then the guy who took our order comes and CONFUSES us when we were ordering, saying the "Clams & Beef Bacon Fettucine" comes with Clams OR Beef Bacon. I said "Huh, not AND ar?" and he said "Oh yes, we have both, Clams OR Beef" (it came Clams AND Beef Bacon)

then.. we ordered Iced water. and the waiter comes and reaches his arm out OVER and ACROSS my plate while i was eating. -____-

the UGLY
we tried to avoid ordering the cold pastas but didn't realise we ordered 2 cold ones. maybe that's why we didnt enjoy it at all. but

COLD pasta does not mean HARD pasta right?

then.. donno why we ordered the PESTO wan oso. haha. but the pesto spagghetti in delicious is nice!! this one was just... ueekkk.

the only 'can eat' one was the SHRIMP LINGUINI. or so we thought. after awhile the sweetness was just too jelak.

and towards the end of the (unhappy) meal, when i asked for a refill of water, the manager takes my glass, fills it up and then walks awaayyyy from our table, apparently to show a waiter who forgot where her customers went to the right table, but because we were so annoyed by then, we said he did it 'to collect dust'.

the GOOD
the bread with olive oil & balsamic vinegar dip. (the complimentary appetizer)
the waiter at the end, whose name was BeeDee's BIDI.
BD: So How's the food?
Us: err...........it was ok..
BD: Are you sure?
Us: err.. this one was too hard. this one too salty. this one too sweet.. this one too.. weird.
BD: omg really. can i get you anything else? dessert?
Us: err........... no.. it's ok... (lost all appetite alr.)
BD: i'm really sorry i'll tell the chef. Next time you come just look for me.

haih. donno whether the 'femes' bloggers really got better service/food or they LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE.

or maybe cuz we so cheapskate. shared the 4 pastas and ordered Ice Water.

i donno how you put up with us but i'm glad you do. or maybe you also becoming more lim everyday

my boyfriend wants to break up with me on Jan 2.
i laugh at him.
he smiles. because he knows that we can't stay away from each other.

if this conversation happened a year, or even a couple of months back, i would have freaked out.

but now, my heart is ready to accept whatever happens.
because i have a faith in us.

sometimes i wonder, why my boyfriend so like that one? haha